Terry’s Top 10 List of Survival Tips for the Holidays
I am getting a ton of ADD related newsletters, telling me how to survive the holidays. They all have great suggestions, too. Like starting a to-do list. Prioritizing. Remembering the real reason behind the holidays. Delegating chores. Hiring someone to clean the house. Etc etc.
But I’m tired of reading the same ol’ same ol’. So today, I’m sharing my list of what NOT to do to prepare for the holidays if you have ADHD:
10. Don’t buy a single can of pumpkin filling, olives or bread crumbs until you check your pantry to see if there’s one, two or even 10 cans lurking behind the cereal. Trust me, you probably have some hiding in the back, somewhere.
9. Do not wear white. Whoever came up with the term “winter white” should be shot. Everyone knows that if you wear white during the holidays, you WILL get cranberry sauce, ketchup and wine on it. No brainer. Even more important, do not let your kids wear anything other than blue or black between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.
8. Do not put up holiday lights; more than likely, they’re already still up from last year. I can spot an ADD household a mile away. They simply unplug the lights and forget (?) to put them away. Go ahead, plug yours in. Great- you’re all set. End of story.
7. Do not wait till the day before Christmas or Chanukah to buy gifts. Stop what you’re doing right this minute and order your gifts online- all of them. As a matter of fact, check your email; today I sent out a newsletter with all the presents you’ll need- they’re all hand-picked, just for you. This alone will save you 15 hours of work. Now you can do all of your holiday shopping in 20 minutes. Really! You don't get my newsletter? Sign up today on my homepage!
6. Do not have the traditional dinner. Are those sweat stains I see on your blouse? Let me help relieve your anxieties about your traditional holiday dinner: Who says you have to have a huge nerve wracking gathering at your home? Choose between A and B:
A. Have only the immediate family over. That way you can get away with store bought chicken and sides or even carryout. Yes, I am letting you off the hook. Blame me, I can take it. Still feeling badly? Invite the gang AFTER dinner, for dessert.
B. Make reservations for dinner OUT. Huh? You’re feeling guilty? Why do you always let other people’s feelings be more important than yours? Go for it.
5. If you DO decide to host the dinner, do NOT invite Aunt Sadie and Uncle Jack. You know they don’t tolerate your hyperactive kids, unruly dog, cluttered house and chaos. Instead, invite friends and relatives who celebrate your unique family and home.
4. Do not stress over a messy house. I realize not everyone can afford a cleaning crew to help you get your house in tip top shape for guests. If you’ve read my “Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD”, you’ll note a few great tips on how to de-clutter your house in a hurry (among other things). Here’s one: Have each family member take 2 mega garbage bags. Assign rooms to each person and have them dump the clutter into the bags. Haul them out to the garage. After the holiday, bring them back in and put everything away. Ok, let’s be reasonable. That part will take a few weeks. It’s ok. Been there, done that. It’s not the end of the world. But I would suggest that you delegate one bag for important stuff that you need easy access to, like your bills, calendars, dog food, meds, etc. Place a sticky label on the ties with a note that says “Important” or “Need to File.”
3. Don’t even THINK about cleaning up the dinner dishes till the next morning. Dump everything in the sink. Pour hot water and detergent on everything. By morning, everything will easily slide off. You’ll have a lot more energy to attack this chore, too.
2. Do not obsess over the fact that you have 645 Holiday cards to send out, knowing it’ll be impossible to get them done in time. Here’s a great tip- Order your Xmas Cards HERE and let THEM send them out FOR you.
1. Do not force your ADHD kids to wait till dinnertime for their meal. Again, rule breaking is in order here if you and your guests want a pleasant dinner. Allow the kids to eat when they are hungry. Nothing can break a holiday spirit faster than irritable kids.
There- you made it! Now one last thing: write down what you did this year that worked and what didn’t. Write down your menu and anything else you think will help you get through this next year. But…don’t ask me where to put it. I need to digest my Thanksgiving turkey, first.
But I’m tired of reading the same ol’ same ol’. So today, I’m sharing my list of what NOT to do to prepare for the holidays if you have ADHD:
10. Don’t buy a single can of pumpkin filling, olives or bread crumbs until you check your pantry to see if there’s one, two or even 10 cans lurking behind the cereal. Trust me, you probably have some hiding in the back, somewhere.
9. Do not wear white. Whoever came up with the term “winter white” should be shot. Everyone knows that if you wear white during the holidays, you WILL get cranberry sauce, ketchup and wine on it. No brainer. Even more important, do not let your kids wear anything other than blue or black between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.
8. Do not put up holiday lights; more than likely, they’re already still up from last year. I can spot an ADD household a mile away. They simply unplug the lights and forget (?) to put them away. Go ahead, plug yours in. Great- you’re all set. End of story.
7. Do not wait till the day before Christmas or Chanukah to buy gifts. Stop what you’re doing right this minute and order your gifts online- all of them. As a matter of fact, check your email; today I sent out a newsletter with all the presents you’ll need- they’re all hand-picked, just for you. This alone will save you 15 hours of work. Now you can do all of your holiday shopping in 20 minutes. Really! You don't get my newsletter? Sign up today on my homepage!
6. Do not have the traditional dinner. Are those sweat stains I see on your blouse? Let me help relieve your anxieties about your traditional holiday dinner: Who says you have to have a huge nerve wracking gathering at your home? Choose between A and B:
A. Have only the immediate family over. That way you can get away with store bought chicken and sides or even carryout. Yes, I am letting you off the hook. Blame me, I can take it. Still feeling badly? Invite the gang AFTER dinner, for dessert.
B. Make reservations for dinner OUT. Huh? You’re feeling guilty? Why do you always let other people’s feelings be more important than yours? Go for it.
5. If you DO decide to host the dinner, do NOT invite Aunt Sadie and Uncle Jack. You know they don’t tolerate your hyperactive kids, unruly dog, cluttered house and chaos. Instead, invite friends and relatives who celebrate your unique family and home.
4. Do not stress over a messy house. I realize not everyone can afford a cleaning crew to help you get your house in tip top shape for guests. If you’ve read my “Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD”, you’ll note a few great tips on how to de-clutter your house in a hurry (among other things). Here’s one: Have each family member take 2 mega garbage bags. Assign rooms to each person and have them dump the clutter into the bags. Haul them out to the garage. After the holiday, bring them back in and put everything away. Ok, let’s be reasonable. That part will take a few weeks. It’s ok. Been there, done that. It’s not the end of the world. But I would suggest that you delegate one bag for important stuff that you need easy access to, like your bills, calendars, dog food, meds, etc. Place a sticky label on the ties with a note that says “Important” or “Need to File.”
3. Don’t even THINK about cleaning up the dinner dishes till the next morning. Dump everything in the sink. Pour hot water and detergent on everything. By morning, everything will easily slide off. You’ll have a lot more energy to attack this chore, too.
2. Do not obsess over the fact that you have 645 Holiday cards to send out, knowing it’ll be impossible to get them done in time. Here’s a great tip- Order your Xmas Cards HERE and let THEM send them out FOR you.
1. Do not force your ADHD kids to wait till dinnertime for their meal. Again, rule breaking is in order here if you and your guests want a pleasant dinner. Allow the kids to eat when they are hungry. Nothing can break a holiday spirit faster than irritable kids.
There- you made it! Now one last thing: write down what you did this year that worked and what didn’t. Write down your menu and anything else you think will help you get through this next year. But…don’t ask me where to put it. I need to digest my Thanksgiving turkey, first.
Comment
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Comment by Lovemypirates1121 on December 15, 2009 at 1:43pm -
Oh boy. Our closing date got changed to the day before Christmas Eve. EEEEEEEEEEK! LOL. My in laws will be hosting Christmas dinner after all!
But we're going to move some things in the day we close, Christmas Eve and will spend Christmas Eve in our new house, on sleeping bags on the floor in the bedrooms.
Santa will get store bought cookies on a paper plate, milk in a plastic cup, the tree will go up and we'll probably have takeout or a frozen pizza on paper plates with paper napkins!
And bless the children, they've each only asked for one present, saying "We know you have to buy the house, so you don't have to get us much." They're 8.5. and 7. How in the world did I get so lucky?
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Comment by betsy davenport, phd on December 10, 2009 at 11:44am -
Oh, this is a good one, Terry. Right now, I am in good shape for Christmas Dinner -- the good china is sitting, in its perfect cases, on top of the chest of drawers in the dining room, having been there for two years, now. TWO YEARS. Moreover, on the mantel are decorations -- adorable reindeer made of moss -- from two years ago, too.
The menorah? I can't believe I actually cleaned the wax out of it and put it away. In October -- how impractical was that? If I'd left it out where it was (on the dining room table, on the tray covered with tin foil to catch the drips, a half dozen burned out matches and the box of matches, too), I'd be good to go. Do you know, Hanukkah starts TOMORROW?? I found that out yesterday. A good thing everybody is too old to expect gifts every night but it looks like EYE still think I can/should/want to/will-be-disappointed-if-I-don't get those gifts.
If I hadn’t cleaned it out and put it away, I’d be set for Hanukkah except now I am not sure where the menorah (and some people think we HAVE to have two of them every year!) is and I KNOW I don't have candles enough. Didn't order them soon enough and since I have never gotten them from a real, in the material world (not internet), store and wouldn't know where one is, or want to go at this time of year - or any time at all - I may be whittling down the candles I have in the basement for in case the power goes off.
Sheesh. What not to do? Just about everything.
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Comment by Lovemypirates1121 on December 9, 2009 at 4:46pm
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Terry: Awwww!! *BLUSH* That's always a nice thing to hear!! I did luck out in the husband and in-law department, that's for sure.
My husband drives me crazy, but as I always say, I know the feeling is mutual! And as one of my best friends says, "Every pot has its lid."
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Comment by Terry Matlen on December 9, 2009 at 9:47am -
Pirates, we need to clone your husband, kids, your inlaws and YOU. : )
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Comment by Terry Matlen on December 9, 2009 at 9:47am
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Hi Jennifer and welcome! No, you don't have to be a mom to enjoy and participate here. In fact, I have a handful of men who are members. If this helps anyone, then I'm all for them joining. Nice to see you here!
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Comment by Jennifer Java on December 9, 2009 at 9:30am
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Ok, first I must confess that I'm not sure I belong on this site. I do have ADHD, but I'm not a mom. I've taken care of other people's kids for nearly 3 decades, just don't have any of my own...yet. I had to respond to this list, though. Even though only about half of it applies to me, I love, love, LOVE it!!! It was a much needed laugh (including at myself) in this super-stressful time of year. Thank you so much for posting it and I'm looking forward to reading your newsletters - which I just signed up for, too! Think I may have to pass this on to my non-ADHD family members. There are things on this list they could benefit from, too!
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Comment by Lovemypirates1121 on December 5, 2009 at 12:59pm
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We might have my in laws for Christmas Dinner, but I'm not stressed about that at all. They're really easy going and laid back, and won't think a thing of using an unpacked box as a table to put down the paper plate and plastic utensils.
Plus everyone who comes brings a side dish or dessert and it's not a lot of people, either.
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Comment by Terry Matlen on December 5, 2009 at 11:47am
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Rebekah,
Hey, I'm giving you permission to carry OUT your food, if needed and to take a day off from dishes as well. You can blame all of this on me, if you'd like. : )
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Comment by Terry Matlen on December 5, 2009 at 11:46am
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Wow, pirates. What timing! Thank goodness you have friends who understand. Maybe use my new mantra about what NOT to do instead of what TO do. Good luck, though!
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Comment by Terry Matlen on December 5, 2009 at 11:45am
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Mary Beth,
Thanks for your kind words- you've given me an idea for a new article ; )
© 2012 Created by Terry Matlen.
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