Cleaning 101: It helps to be a little OCD when you have ADHD
I have recently discovered that my tendency to organize when I feel overwhelmed from my world is me applying my OCD tendencies to cope with my drive toward distraction! So for all the moms out there coping with a stressor like an overly messy house which occurred because you couldn't keep track of your house let alone the thoughts in your head, do not distress!
I have to create a schedule for specific days of the week when things happen, and yes I have to be neurotic about how things get clean but then I have to ease off myself and those around me when my expectations for cleanliness don't happen. In that way, my ADHD mellows out my need to control everything in the environment, and the OCD keeps my disorganized mind in order and neither drive becomes too strong and overwhelms my life!
Cleaning is my ritual, I have always tried to make cleaning and organizing cathartic and enjoyable and when I can't participate in my ritual I have learned to let go and not worry about it so much. My OCD side says we need to deep clean daily (not realistic) and my ADHD side says I need to just de-clutter (or else I will go crazy from too much stuff). So I make sure that I have time each week for both and both in moderation, by doing this I get more done and I don't feel as overwhelmed. So for example, when I declutter a room I also like to think of it as my 10 minute tidy! This is done 1-3 times a day and then once a week I deep clean the same room for 30 minutes and no more! Ironic how I have to put controls on my control issue! Oh and 10 minute tidys are great fun to do with your kids and they can take a load of stress off your back as the Mom in charge!
For example, we have two bathrooms in our apartment and instead of cleaning them both on the same day, I deep clean one on Wednesdays for 30 minutes in the morning during the morning chore hour and one on Friday at the same time (relatively speaking). I give myself flexibility when I need it and structure at the same time! So far, this system has worked for me and so for anyone searching for some ideas, I hope my suggestion will help, my therapist even approved this balance for all people struggling with ADHD and keeping a clean house. I hope someone finds my ideas useful!
Comment
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Comment by Jessica Ann Hobson on April 5, 2010 at 3:04pm -
Virginia,
Your most welcome! I am very sick right now and before that happened I was in the process of moving the girls into our second larger bedroom in the apartment, so I can convert their current bedroom into my school room. My husband has serious doubts sometimes that I can do this, but having ADHD has taught me to take it one day at a time, be patient with myself and recognize that I am doing God's work in raising and educating my children right in the thick of things. While I have been sick, Andrew gave me a Priesthood Blessing (something we have available to the sick and afflicted in the LDS faith0 and in it, Heavenly Father reminded me that I am on the right path, though it was not meant to be easy, it will happen with my continued diligence and faith. I think I get myself so worked up when I can't do things perfectly (or what appears to be perfect to most) and I can miss the point that we are here in this life to be perfected through our trials, (look at Job in the Bible!) and it is not for us to decide how the Lord will put us through his "refiners fire". for you and me we have to contend with a mind that doesn't work the way we want it to, and he entrusts us with his most precious gifts, our children and so in doing, he knows we can find our way home and bring our children back to him in one piece. After this Easter Sunday, I really see how I am being led by the Lord and so are you too! Hope all is well and I will look forward to your next post!
Sincerely,
Jessica Hobson
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Comment by Mom to Six on April 5, 2010 at 1:30am -
This was a great post! I loved it! :)
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Comment by Jessica Ann Hobson on March 2, 2010 at 6:33pm
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Thanks for letting me know that this post gave you some ideas! Having a schedule, means it gets done by the end of the day and often that is way better than not doing it at all or waiting until the mess becomes a monster invading our home! I have just added Friday was my paper sort day. I bring the mail in each day, sort out the garbage to be recycled, pay any bills and deal with any paperwork that must be dealt with ASAP! Then I leave anything to filed for the year or longer in our organizer by the phone (also sitting by the recycle bin) and on Friday I File It Away! I call it File Away Fridays! The other tip that works here and with all household cleaning is OHIO or Only Handle It Once, sometimes this can't happen, but most of the time when I get something in my hands the first time, I deal with it then and there or I have a system to pick up the slack when I need to rush off to an appointment, take care of a screaming or emotional child or answer a ringing phone. It isn't perfect but it definitely takes a lot off of my mind and then I don't forget where I put that paperwork I needed so badly from two weeks before! Good luck with planning your chores ahead, tell me how it goes!
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Comment by Gail Bellefeuille on March 1, 2010 at 8:47am -
This sounds like a very good plan .I know myself, I need accountability, as left to no schedule of any kind, I tend to let it all go (I reallllllly hate cleaning bathrooms and doing laundry)I have been a stay at home mom for a few yrs full time, and sometimes feel burnt out in general.I plan on writing a schedule of sorts on my huge calender, to get me off my 'duff'...lol..thanks for posting!
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