Being Disorganized Can Make You Sick
Those of you who know me and/or my work, know that I try hard to teach folks with ADHD to forgive themselves. We are sooo hard on ourselves when we are trying to manage piles of paper, keeping our homes orderly, remembering important dates, managing our families, staying on top of things at work…and more.
You know how some weeks can be simply overwhelming. Well, I am having that kind of week, myself. I feel like I’m a target for anything and everything that possibly could be going wrong. But to save you the trouble of having to read about my week of insanity, let me focus on one area that really got me crazed.
I’ll be writing a lot about my kids. After all, this is about Moms with ADHD and Moms with ADHD who have Kids with ADHD. I belong in both categories. I have one daughter with ADHD and one without.
Mackenzie, the one *with* ADHD has other special needs. That means that once a year (usually more), we have to attend an IEP at school. An IEP is an Individualized Educational Plan Meeting where we discuss what her needs are and how they’ll be addressed.
Of course, my IEP is THIS THURSDAY and my papers aren’t in order. That’s where the “sick” part comes in. Though I’ve known about my ADHD for…oh…a long time now…and am considered an expert in the field, I still have my moments. And this is one of them. Papers make me sick. Or I should say, disorganized papers falling off my desk into piles on the floor make me sick.
One of my mantras when I offer presentations on ADHD is to do what you can to get the help you need. In my case, I lucked out. My older daughter, Kate, is extremely organized. Now, I could have chosen to spend hours looking for and organizing the papers I need for this upcoming meeting, but Kate was in town and she offered to help me.
She was able to pull together a binder with all the needed papers in oh…about 2 hours, tops. If I had taken this on, either it wouldn’t have gotten done, or it would have taken me literally weeks to finish this horrific task.
The moral of the story- if something makes you so distressed it makes you literally feel sick, due to your ADHD, think about what options you have in getting help. It could be hiring an ADD coach, a professional organizer. Or it could be as simple as asking someone you trust to help you out.
Time to put away the Tums!
You know how some weeks can be simply overwhelming. Well, I am having that kind of week, myself. I feel like I’m a target for anything and everything that possibly could be going wrong. But to save you the trouble of having to read about my week of insanity, let me focus on one area that really got me crazed.
I’ll be writing a lot about my kids. After all, this is about Moms with ADHD and Moms with ADHD who have Kids with ADHD. I belong in both categories. I have one daughter with ADHD and one without.
Mackenzie, the one *with* ADHD has other special needs. That means that once a year (usually more), we have to attend an IEP at school. An IEP is an Individualized Educational Plan Meeting where we discuss what her needs are and how they’ll be addressed.
Of course, my IEP is THIS THURSDAY and my papers aren’t in order. That’s where the “sick” part comes in. Though I’ve known about my ADHD for…oh…a long time now…and am considered an expert in the field, I still have my moments. And this is one of them. Papers make me sick. Or I should say, disorganized papers falling off my desk into piles on the floor make me sick.
One of my mantras when I offer presentations on ADHD is to do what you can to get the help you need. In my case, I lucked out. My older daughter, Kate, is extremely organized. Now, I could have chosen to spend hours looking for and organizing the papers I need for this upcoming meeting, but Kate was in town and she offered to help me.
She was able to pull together a binder with all the needed papers in oh…about 2 hours, tops. If I had taken this on, either it wouldn’t have gotten done, or it would have taken me literally weeks to finish this horrific task.
The moral of the story- if something makes you so distressed it makes you literally feel sick, due to your ADHD, think about what options you have in getting help. It could be hiring an ADD coach, a professional organizer. Or it could be as simple as asking someone you trust to help you out.
Time to put away the Tums!
Comment
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Comment by Dyane on July 8, 2009 at 10:30pm -
Well, 79 posts later and I am almost talked into a Roomba! Also, does anyone else watch "Clean House" or the BBC version which I think is better, " How Clean is your House?". I sit and wonder if 75% of those folks have ADD. There are a few people who are just not clean and throw garbage on their floors, etc., but most of them seem like us - overwhelmed about where to start first. Those shows have become like a therapy session for me and I feel so happy for the people who are helped! Plus, there are good tips on organizing. The U.S. show concentrates on new furniture and fixtures but the British version has very little new furnishings - they just put the original "flat" back to normalcy. Check it out, if anyone gets BBC America.
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Comment by Terry Matlen on July 5, 2009 at 12:09am -
Welcome back, Babette.
Just curious- do you think that if you all knew about the ADHD going into the marriage, that it might have survived? Or is your ex still in denial about it all?
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Comment by Lovemypirates1121 on July 4, 2009 at 6:02pm -
I know what you mean about people who react favorably becoming friends for life. Kindred spirits are truly a rare and beautiful treasure, and it seems harder to find them when most people just don't "get" you.
One of my dearest friends recently told me "We all have quirks, and I have known others with ADHD, but I just haven't known them as well as I've gotten to know you... you know that I have my quirks, as well, and you'll see a lot more of them when you visit! What you call "quirks" are not at all odd to me, so no worries... they are just my friend's every day personality traits to me!"
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Comment by Babette Rahamin on July 4, 2009 at 5:40pm -
My computer has been down so I'm catching up. People always misjudged me because I'd interrupt them not to be rude but because I knew I'd forget what I wanted to say.As a kid, I was hyperactive also and would literally bounce off the walls in my room while watching tv and getting overstimulated. They called me "Blabette" in 2nd grade and I shut up fast and daydreamed instead.. I recognized the hyperactiveness in my youngest son first and my husband blamed it on Cola. Little did he know CocaCola put this kid to sleep just like coffee does me. Anyone else have this reaction?
I make lists and then leave them at home. People always said I had a weird view of the world yet the ones that reacted favorably became friends for life. My son who is the oldest has the same "warped" humor and my now ex used to get disgusted at us for finishing each others offbeat jokes.
I have to look into Flylady because it seems I am always cleaning and it's looks like I'm Peggy Bundy from "Married With Children" who lays on the couch all day. My family blew apart over ALL of us having undiagnosed ADHD.. My ex has it too and is a successful entreprenuer/workaholic. But we were so busy pointing our fingers at each others' inconsistencies and blaming our wild kids on each other that even family therapy didn't reveal this until after divorce. Ironic isn't it? I blamed myself because it's always the mother's fault, right? And as an only child I didn't know what was normal kiddy stuff and what was my own faulty nervous system.
I'll shut up now but ADHD really ruled my life. In some ways it still does. I sometimes stay up all night engrossed in a good book and don't get tired til much later in the day. I'm going to look into that coaching site and thanks for listening. Babette
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Comment by Terry Matlen on June 14, 2009 at 12:22am
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Thanks, Kasteen! I'll check both out.
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Comment by Kasteen on June 14, 2009 at 12:14am -
the vacuum is one and then the other is a floor wet scrubber. i just got the vaccum one last week. it was $350 as a bday present from my father in law. I want the other one as well but they are quite pricey! maybe for my anniversary
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Comment by Terry Matlen on June 14, 2009 at 12:03am
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It's confusing- some say they vacuum, some say they wash floors. There's one that does both? How much does this one cost?
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Comment by Kasteen on June 13, 2009 at 11:55pm
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i would say the Roomba for the vacuuming because it goes from your carpets to any floors. I turn it on every day.
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Comment by Terry Matlen on June 13, 2009 at 11:11pm
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Babette,
Yes, I'm always reading more than one book and sadly, often not finishing any of them.
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Comment by Lovemypirates1121 on June 13, 2009 at 9:51pm
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Speaking of college, I discovered when I went that I did so much better when I took one course in a one-month semester rather than the usual 4-5 classes in a 4 month time.
Those semesters went so fast and I aced them each time. The first time I was retaking Anatomy and Physiology because I'd gotten a D in it during the fall semester. I took it again during the winter semester. We'd have lecture for 4 hours then lunch then 4 hours of lab in the afternoon. I got at least an A or B on every test.
I suspect my ADD actually made those semesters easier.
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