Your ADD and Your Kids
I am a single mom with 3 kids between 10-15.... I am the only one that has been diagnosed with ADD, though I do have my suspisions that at least one maybe both my boys also have it. I do plan to have all 3 checked just to make sure it doesnt go missed until adulthood like mine did.
Anyways I've been struggling forever to be independent and do everything for myself like I am in charge and completely capable of doing it all. I've decided that I am just to old (32, i know not old) too keep this up, and really who am I trying to prove something too??? So once I decided I was going to take a step back, let go and lessen the struggle, I started thinking about things that hadnt dawned on me before.
One being my kids understanding of ADD, they know I have it, its as common knowledge as my red hair, they also have 2 cousins (that we know of) that have it. So they are well aware that it exists, but now i'm wondering if my nonchalantness of it has not been the best thing. ADD has become just a casual fact about me, which is good (i think)... to a point.
Ok so what I'm wondering is if anyone has experience or advice on explaining to your kids how your ADD works, and how it affects you and them.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Annmarie on -
I had the opposite situation, where my kids were diagnosed (one midway through 9th grade and the other midway through 6th grade) first. The therapist who diagnosed them told me the single most important thing I could do for them was to education myself about ADHD. As I did that I found myself realizing I had it all my life and, boy, it sure explained a lot of things! Anyway, I would ask your kids how they would describe what ADHD is and what they see in you that they think is because of ADHD. Then you can clarify misinformation or elaborate on the things you think they should know about it. I have often read parts of various books (like Terry's book, Survival Tips for Women - Beyond Piles, Palms and Post its, which so much of which I identified with) to my husband to help him understand. Also, there is a book called A Bird's-eye View of Life with ADD, by Dendy/Ziegler written for children and teens. About 10 teens give their own descriptions of what life is like for them. I think these books (even if you only skim through them -- which I suggest as someone who rarely actually reads a book from cover to cover) will really open up some discussion for you and your kids.
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Permalink Reply by Diane on
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I am a single mom with 5 kids. My 9 year old daughter was diagnosed 2 years ago and my 18 was diagnosed, along with me, about 6 months ago. At that time, my 14 year old daughter went through the testing too and, although she did not receive a diagnosis, I feel strongly that she has it. During the testing process, all three of us (14 y/o, 18 y/o and I) became educated about ADHD and how it works in our lives to create chaos. I bought my daughter a book about teenage girls and ADHD to enhance her understanding, and I did my own extensive research and related that to my son.
My 9 year old, who was the first diagnosed, has only recently been included in the explanations of what it all means, and my 5 year old has been included in those discussions. My 9 year old has a host of other problems, which make it difficult to really get her clear understanding. My 5 year old, on the other hand, may be the only non-ADDer in the house and seems to understand it pretty well. I've explained to her that my brain just works differently than ours and that we need help remembering stuff a lot of the time, for example. Fortunately, she's great at reminding - from what we need at the grocery store to what her sister needs to take to school with her. :)
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Permalink Reply by Leanne on
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Well, here's what I've done lately: I say, "You know, I am VERY overwhelmed right now and I need y'all to quiet down so I can think." Since yours are a good bit older than mine (although you and I are the same age), they can understand that feeling and be more respectful of it. I try not to create me-vs.-them mentality but a let's-work-together mentality, and that's helping.
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