Parenting Issues
ADHD makes parenting, an otherwise huge job, all the more daunting. What issues are you having as a parent?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Terry Matlen on -
Hi HMC,
Thanks for being so open about your difficulties. And BRAVO to you for seeking the help you need. I'm betting that you are a terrific mom. You're making sure your needs are being met so you can best care for your daughter.
I'm wondering about your meds. If the side effects are that troublesome, it's time to really zoom in on this issue with your doctor to see what can be done about it. It can take a VERY LONG TIME to get them right and as you know, folks like us with ADHD often don't have the patience to wait. But it's important. Can you talk to him about how you can manage the side effects? It could mean a change in dosage or a change in meds. Or the timing of meds, etc.
Maybe, too, you can be more specific about what is driving you nuts at home.
I highly recommend working with a professional organizer. But...make sure she/he is very well versed in ADHD. You do NOT want someone who will scold you or otherwise be insensitive to your needs and your struggles. I have used one a few times and it was VERY helpful.
I'm glad to hear, too, that you're getting professional help. But it sounds like you are still being terribly hard on yourself and I hope you'll bring this all up with your therapist.
Terry
H.M.C said:Hi,
I am a SAHM with ADHD inattentive type My daughter is 18 months old, my husband works a lot and I have no family around. I feel so overwhelmed all the time. I am on meds which help but can make me more anxious even if my head is clearer for a period of time. I feel like I am a really great mother but awful at managing the household. I have very reasonable expectations for myself (okay to not have dinner on the table, clutter is fine, not the nd of the world if my daughter goes out of the house with messy hair etc) I even have my daughter in childcare a couple mornings a week so I can clear my head. It makes me sad that I feel like I am failing at the one thing I thought I would be so great at. Has anyone used a professional organizer? Are they useful? What about an iphone to manage the logistics of life on? Also, I am so sick of managing meds etc. I am on Celexa, dextroamphetimine and Trazadone for sleep. Sometimes I get so sick of the side affects of the meds that I want to stop taking my stimulants and sleep medication but if I do I will even less done than I normally do. Its like I am frustrated on meds because of the side affects and when I am off my meds my life feels totally out of control. I honestly think that if I didnt have to manage the household stuff motherhood would be so much easier. We already have a housecleaner and a babysitter etc. a great husband, great individual therapist and marriage counselor and psychtrist that specializes in adult in ADD I guess I just feel really down on myself right now for falling so short of the expectations I had from myself despite having so many resourses available to me. Thanks for reading...
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Permalink Reply by Sandria Savage on -
Hi I have a 6 year old tornado of energy who has just been recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have had ADHD since I was a kid but was only diagnosed when I was in Nursing school. My dh is undiagnosed but I really do believe he has ADHD inattentive type he can't complete a task and needs everything laid out for him to know what to do. So many times I joke I have 2 kids. So, with both parents having some form of ADHD consistency is sometimes difficult. I am finding right now with my son having so much trouble in school and his ADHD being off the wall mine is now off the wall. Have actually called my pcp for an ekg and have appointments for both of us with a center who specializes in adhd, so I can get back on my meds. The worst part is keeping track of all these appointments, school events, half days. Also why do kids have to come home with so much paperwork. I am also a full time visiting nurse which is mostly done on computer but has lots of supplies and equipment. I am always trying to keep organize my house, car, etc. Lately I have felt pretty insane as I am a case manager for my patients then I am a house manage at home. I just cut down my hours to 4 days a week so I can help with my sons school and appointments and all. For around the house I just bought a file cabinet lets see about getting the paper in lol :). I have tried the basket technique, maybe will try again. My son responds much better to positive rewards then consequences, even-though we do have consequences for really bad things like lying etc. But I find if I tell my son I will take away his stuff or tv, etc he just feels like he is going to lose anyways. But if I phrase it differently like I will give you an extra half an hour of TV or an extra half an hour of playing if you pick up your toys then it works. I found this wonderful site www.handipoints.com which really helps. I do find when my son gets stuck on clean his room it really does help to tell him what to pick up. I am loving this site and all the suggestions.
Sandria
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Permalink Reply by H.M.C on
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Hi Sandria,
Thank you so much for your response and your website suggestion. I will be sure to use it when my child is older ;)
Sandria Savage said:Hi I have a 6 year old tornado of energy who has just been recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have had ADHD since I was a kid but was only diagnosed when I was in Nursing school. My dh is undiagnosed but I really do believe he has ADHD inattentive type he can't complete a task and needs everything laid out for him to know what to do. So many times I joke I have 2 kids. So, with both parents having some form of ADHD consistency is sometimes difficult. I am finding right now with my son having so much trouble in school and his ADHD being off the wall mine is now off the wall. Have actually called my pcp for an ekg and have appointments for both of us with a center who specializes in adhd, so I can get back on my meds. The worst part is keeping track of all these appointments, school events, half days. Also why do kids have to come home with so much paperwork. I am also a full time visiting nurse which is mostly done on computer but has lots of supplies and equipment. I am always trying to keep organize my house, car, etc. Lately I have felt pretty insane as I am a case manager for my patients then I am a house manage at home. I just cut down my hours to 4 days a week so I can help with my sons school and appointments and all. For around the house I just bought a file cabinet lets see about getting the paper in lol :). I have tried the basket technique, maybe will try again. My son responds much better to positive rewards then consequences, even-though we do have consequences for really bad things like lying etc. But I find if I tell my son I will take away his stuff or tv, etc he just feels like he is going to lose anyways. But if I phrase it differently like I will give you an extra half an hour of TV or an extra half an hour of playing if you pick up your toys then it works. I found this wonderful site www.handipoints.com which really helps. I do find when my son gets stuck on clean his room it really does help to tell him what to pick up. I am loving this site and all the suggestions.
Sandria
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