i want to follow through, why cant i
Why cant I follow through on anything!!!!!!! I buy planners with good intentions of keeping track of all my stuff but end up leaving it in the car, work ect. or basically just not using it. I make all sorts of chore charts and get all kinds of organizing stuff for myself and my kids but guess what? They work good for a week or so but then I don't follow through then I get mad at my kids for not doing their chores. I go to work where I have such good intentions of getting tons of stuff done but end up waiting until the last of the week and end up half way doing it all. (Im a housekeeper for a church). I ve been trying to start couponing but that hasnt happened but I have all the organizing material to get started. Discipline with the kids is a joke I make threats and don't follow through, I start bible studies go for the first couple of weeks and then make excuses because I didnt do the lesson. When I clean my house I cant just clean a little every day I will let it go and then go on a mad rush to get it all done. I have good intentions of having fun with my kids but there again I have bought games thought of things to do and guess what I dont follow through. Does anyone feel the same way, have any ideas for planning and most of all help with follow through or am i really a faliure at work and family?!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Adrienne Monica on -
I do the same exact thing. It's seems that no amount of preparation will help. I just try to visualize the end product and try to let that be my motivation. It doesn't work all the time but its something.
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Felger on
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You're not a failure and not inadequate. but it sure feels that way doesn't it. I wondered if my husband wrote what you wrote above, pretending to be me. I am almost 50 and only suspected ADD in the last 6 years. After listening to CD's of Driven to Distraction and seeing my son's improvement with Vyvanse, I decided to get a formal diagnosis and try medication - just on days when I want to start and finish big/multiple projects.
I heard in "Driven to Distraction" that sometimes doing a number of things at the same time can corral runaway thinking and aid in moving 'forward' I have found this to help me. It's a challenge that I enjoy taking on - seeing if I can do 3 -4 things at the same time and keep them all progressing-for me this works for short term items - ie. dinner, laundry, paperwork - NOT long term painting, landscaping, gardening projects, canning the whole bushel of apples.
Today I will try - as other days - to list 3-5 things that I really want to get done - then I pick the worst one and get it done, with prayer and will-power. That gives me some momentum and a psychological boost. I would like to try an accountability partner or group to work on this as well( but haven't gotten around to asking anyone yet ; )
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Permalink Reply by Angela Gelinas on
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This is me to a tee!!! I would love some tips on balancing life. I always feel like i constantly use ADD as an excuse when I don't follow through as well.
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Permalink Reply by jill feinberg on
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I do also use ADD as an excuse, but what else can we do? I haven't found the answer to that. Just hope and pray every day, and keep moving forward. Or at least keep moving. I'm glad I'm not alone. Thanks.
Angela Gelinas said:
This is me to a tee!!! I would love some tips on balancing life. I always feel like i constantly use ADD as an excuse when I don't follow through as well.
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Permalink Reply by Alli Gaulin on -
Wow me too. This is part of why I have felt like such a failure my whole life. I am recently diagnosed so just learning how to manage myself more efficiently knowing my limitations. I will say that one benefit I am seeing from the medication is the ability to make myself do things. It may sound strange but I still have a terrible urge to not do what I should be doing but somehow I am more capable of just doing it. Today will be the first Monday night before housekeeper day that I did wait until the evening to get the house in order, yelling at my kids and freaking out. It's done. It's small, but a start. First time ever.
jill feinberg said:I do also use ADD as an excuse, but what else can we do? I haven't found the answer to that. Just hope and pray every day, and keep moving forward. Or at least keep moving. I'm glad I'm not alone. Thanks.
Angela Gelinas said:
This is me to a tee!!! I would love some tips on balancing life. I always feel like i constantly use ADD as an excuse when I don't follow through as well.
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Permalink Reply by Alli Gaulin on
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Can't figure out how to edit and the sentence where I said "first night I did... "It should be did not. :)
Alli Gaulin said:Wow me too. This is part of why I have felt like such a failure my whole life. I am recently diagnosed so just learning how to manage myself more efficiently knowing my limitations. I will say that one benefit I am seeing from the medication is the ability to make myself do things. It may sound strange but I still have a terrible urge to not do what I should be doing but somehow I am more capable of just doing it. Today will be the first Monday night before housekeeper day that I did wait until the evening to get the house in order, yelling at my kids and freaking out. It's done. It's small, but a start. First time ever.
jill feinberg said:I do also use ADD as an excuse, but what else can we do? I haven't found the answer to that. Just hope and pray every day, and keep moving forward. Or at least keep moving. I'm glad I'm not alone. Thanks.
Angela Gelinas said:This is me to a tee!!! I would love some tips on balancing life. I always feel like i constantly use ADD as an excuse when I don't follow through as well.
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Permalink Reply by Debra Lynn on
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Ugh I so relate. So many things unaccomplished and dreams not achieved has resulted in low self esteem for me. Its a snowball effect. It feels good to read that I am not alone. I am uniagnosed and called today and made an appointment. I pray that it helps and that you all find something that works for you.
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Permalink Reply by Alli Gaulin on
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I am following this up since I have been working on this for a few months now.
Funny thing is, one of the things that has been most successful for me (and this is only with medication) is letting go of having to do everything perfectly every day. So my focus is not the chore chart or the tool or even the thing that needs to be done, it is to be aware of time, to be present, which makes me engage instead of getting wrapped up in work or some other distraction. In the past I would start out a new week with a new system, a new enthusiasm for being organized and in control, but like you within days it would be over because I couldn't actually do what I set out to do every day. I would feel like a failure and just give it all up thinking, what is the point?. But when I have ONE goal, and that goal is to be aware of what is going on, it doesn't matter if everything gets done. And I will say, A LOT more gets done when I am aware of time. When I don't let hours go by without looking up from my computer or putting down a book I can SEE what needs to be done and I can either chose to do it or not to do it. The thing that medication has done for me is that I can now see what needs to be done which I could not do before. It's hard to explain and you probably already get it, but I think I was not only distracted but also anything mundane would make me insane and I simply could not see that I would be happier with myself once the laundry was done, or if I cleaned that closet I would feel relaxed for a week versus an hour of being tortured cleaning it. I am not sure I am making sense, but it boils down to this: my mind is clearer. I still get frustrated with mundane things, I still have the impulse to waste time, but now I can talk myself through to the end point.
So a combination of those two things is making a difference for me. I still sometimes ignore the laundry alarm, I still sometimes choose to not get up from the computer, but I am not just letting it all go by not realizing that its been 5 hours since I looked up and nothing I needed to do was done and the house is a mess and now I have to rush to shower for that meeting I didn't know about until the alarm reminded me.
And my phone just told me to go to bed. So I am going to make myself shut down this computer and go to bed. Right now. (Instead of spending another half hour here, then checking my email, then Facebook, then Pinterest, then I might read for a bit.) I am just going to make myself go because I know I need to. G'Night!
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