I could really use some help!!!
Please read my previous post about being diagnosed, and then days later learning my parents knew all along. I'm really struggling inside. I suspected something as Dad would pass me off to my Mom, who tried to sweep everything under the carpet. Does anyone have any prospective?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by samantha michelle Enquist on -
sometimes it is hard for people to understand exactly what your going through and some people refuse to believe that adhd/add is an actual problem. Since trying to explain thing are difficult maybe you should use an analogy for her to help her understand your brain vs. hers.
Imagine the thought process as a boat trip.
Most people get in the boat (the thought starts), chart a course (the thought develops), sail across the water (the thought continues) and dock at their destination (the thought is complete).
My trip is a bit different. I get into my boat, and inevitably a storm blows in. The rain and wind pick up and make charting the course difficult. While sailing, my rudder gets caught in a fishing net, and I have to untangle it. And then the boat runs into an iceberg, and I have to repair the hull. And then the mast gets hit by lightning, and the bilge-pump bursts into flames, and I have to put the fire out. There were so many things pulling me away from piloting that I am constantly off course, and sometimes I end up forgetting my destination altogether.
I do want to say my mom said i could make her cry when i was a kid so if your mom chose to take it on instead of medicating you, maybe she just thought that was best. try to see things from both sides, maybe that will help.
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Permalink Reply by Karen DeBolt on -
Hey Marrianne,
I totally hear how frustrated and angry you must be. This exact same situation happened to one of our parent support group members. He had struggled for years then was diagnosed when his daughter was diagnosed only to find out that his mother had him diagnosed when he was 7! He was really mad even though it was like 10 years ago now.
I think that the key is to realize that that generation of parents just did not and still don't want to acknowledge any kind of percieved mental illness. So even though we are talking about a neurological difference that is treatable with medications as well as with coping strategies, they will feel that stigma on it. This is an unfortunate thing because so many were stigmatized as being "that kid" in every classroom who was always in trouble instead! (talking about the dad in my meeting specifically)
I think it makes sense for what its worth that you would be grieving a bit over the whole situation. It will have sometime to heal from that and a lot of ups and downs emotionally in the meantime.
The good news is that now you have some answers and you can begin to work on solutions and start getting some support. Yeah! I would highly recommend a support group in your area if you can find one. http://chadd.org has a good listing and also http://www.adda.org has some.
All the best,
Karen DeBolt, MA
Helping families struggling with chaos at home to have happy, successful lives
http://www.counselingformoms.com
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