How do I bring to fruition, Do the job,To not stop until it is comlete, put it into effect.....

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Permalink Reply by Mary Beth Slattum on February 19, 2010 at 11:23am

Hi KD ,

I think all of us with ADHD feel that feeling of knowing we can do more , be more, etc. I have started 2 business over the last 20 years and can honestly say my ADHD has probably given me a hand up on the creative side , the fun side , and the endless ideas side of business. My ADHD has also given me the impulsivity to do anything fun to avoid doing what I need to do and have no interest in doing , which is so common with ADHD.

I had an ADHD coach say to me one time , "you might be good at business , but not as good running a business" . That was really profound after I got over being mad at her for thinking I might not be good running a business :). However, after realizing that being good at business and running a business are 2 very different things, I found out that I don't like to run the business side of anything. I like the creative and people side.

It might be important for you to find a coach and work through some strategies about business . With both my businesses, I started them part time while working another job part time and therefore there was no financial pressure. Just a thought.



Hope this helps , Mary Beth

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Permalink Reply by KD on February 28, 2010 at 12:22am

Thank you Mary Beth for all your information. I have made many unfortunate choices with men in my life. I take full responsibility for these choices, but they have had a domino affect on my life. I am struggling financially in a big way. I know where I excel, I never know where to start and if I try to start on my own, I do not follow through. I cannot afford a coach. I can barely pay my rent. I find that this takes a disturbing toll to my self esteem and causes set-backs with my struggle with depression.
I feel like I am hopeless. So many women on here are successful. I just can't seem to pull it off.
I appreciate the time you took to answer my question.
Thank you Mary Beth

Karen

Mary Beth Slattum said:

Hi KD ,

I think all of us with ADHD feel that feeling of knowing we can do more , be more, etc. I have started 2 business over the last 20 years and can honestly say my ADHD has probably given me a hand up on the creative side , the fun side , and the endless ideas side of business. My ADHD has also given me the impulsivity to do anything fun to avoid doing what I need to do and have no interest in doing , which is so common with ADHD.

I had an ADHD coach say to me one time , "you might be good at business , but not as good running a business" . That was really profound after I got over being mad at her for thinking I might not be good running a business :). However, after realizing that being good at business and running a business are 2 very different things, I found out that I don't like to run the business side of anything. I like the creative and people side.

It might be important for you to find a coach and work through some strategies about business . With both my businesses, I started them part time while working another job part time and therefore there was no financial pressure. Just a thought.



Hope this helps , Mary Beth

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Permalink Reply by Jen Idema on March 2, 2010 at 3:14pm

KD,

You have described me to a T! Everything you wrote about unfortunate choices, the domino effect, knowing where you excel but not knowing where to start, problems with self-esteem and depression...all me! And the end of the rope feels very near for me as well.

I recently became a single mom too. I have 3 kids - 12, 9, and 6. My ex-husband is very supportive and very involved in our lives, and we're getting along better now than ever. However, his income cannot support 2 households, so I am also very broke. I've dabbled in freelance photography, glassware painting, and other creative outlets over the years, but it was never a financial necessity, so it wasn't crucial for me to establish a real business, complete with bookkeeping, marketing, and the like. In fact, those are the reasons I've never stuck with them even on a freelance basis.

But now, I HAVE to find other income, and a time-clock type of job just isn't for me. I excel in writing, proofreading, and editing, and would be ideally suited to working on other people's and companies' websites and blogs as an editor and occasional content contributor. What's holding me back, ironically, is writing a letter to market my writing and grammar skills! I'm so worried about making the best presentation of myself (classic ADHD perfectionism), that I avoid sitting down to just start writing.

My other road block is what Mary Beth mentioned: I am not good at running a business. Once I market myself and start getting hired, how am I going to keep track of it all -- billing, receiving, taxes, etc.? Like you, Karen, I need someone by my side. I do have a couple of friends who have stepped in as coaches, but their impact is more on my attitude and holding me accountable to making progress on my decluttering projects. They don't have the time to run a business with/for me.

I'm sure you're wishing that this reply had helpful information for you. I haven't given you any solutions. But I know for me, it helps to talk with others who are in the same boat, and remind ourselves that we are worthy of self-love. We have so many talents and strengths. It's just frustrating that it is those very gifts that get in the way of themselves sometimes.

Let's make a promise to keep believing in ourselves and our great ideas, and not to beat ourselves up over the past.

Here's to our success!

Jen

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Permalink Reply by KD on March 10, 2010 at 8:50am

Hi Jan,
Your reply was extremely helpful and we are so much alike. I do freelance copy writing for my boyfriends business. I love words and color. I actually put a color to a person's name when I first meet them and that way I never forget their name. I also love fashion and I only bargain shop...meaning I go into the most exclusive towns on Long Island and into their thrift or consign shops and with the price tags....say a Theory dress that is $300.00 I will get for $10.00 bucks. I found a tag watch brand new that goes for three grand and I bought it for $5.00. Some people just don't know what they have. My friends have told me to buy and then sell on ebay or something like it, but I need to do things in step and to be shown how to do them. The shopping, accessory part is easy. It's where do I start and could someone sit next to me to walk me through it. I love that I have the right brain talent in certain areas, but I hate that I cannot follow through. It has caused major depression for me. I appreciate what Mary Beth has said with regards to a coach, but it is not possible. I work 2 jobs, my bills are always late and sometimes I just cannot pay them.
But, hey Jen...If you are interested in having a phone buddy so that we each have the support from someone that gets it........Let me know. My email is Karenhurd1@gmail.com I could then leave you my number. Just a thought!!

Be well

KD

Jen Idema said:

KD,

You have described me to a T! Everything you wrote about unfortunate choices, the domino effect, knowing where you excel but not knowing where to start, problems with self-esteem and depression...all me! And the end of the rope feels very near for me as well.

I recently became a single mom too. I have 3 kids - 12, 9, and 6. My ex-husband is very supportive and very involved in our lives, and we're getting along better now than ever. However, his income cannot support 2 households, so I am also very broke. I've dabbled in freelance photography, glassware painting, and other creative outlets over the years, but it was never a financial necessity, so it wasn't crucial for me to establish a real business, complete with bookkeeping, marketing, and the like. In fact, those are the reasons I've never stuck with them even on a freelance basis.

But now, I HAVE to find other income, and a time-clock type of job just isn't for me. I excel in writing, proofreading, and editing, and would be ideally suited to working on other people's and companies' websites and blogs as an editor and occasional content contributor. What's holding me back, ironically, is writing a letter to market my writing and grammar skills! I'm so worried about making the best presentation of myself (classic ADHD perfectionism), that I avoid sitting down to just start writing.

My other road block is what Mary Beth mentioned: I am not good at running a business. Once I market myself and start getting hired, how am I going to keep track of it all -- billing, receiving, taxes, etc.? Like you, Karen, I need someone by my side. I do have a couple of friends who have stepped in as coaches, but their impact is more on my attitude and holding me accountable to making progress on my decluttering projects. They don't have the time to run a business with/for me.

I'm sure you're wishing that this reply had helpful information for you. I haven't given you any solutions. But I know for me, it helps to talk with others who are in the same boat, and remind ourselves that we are worthy of self-love. We have so many talents and strengths. It's just frustrating that it is those very gifts that get in the way of themselves sometimes.

Let's make a promise to keep believing in ourselves and our great ideas, and not to beat ourselves up over the past.

Here's to our success!

Jen

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Permalink Reply by KD on March 13, 2010 at 8:52pm

Hi Jen,

I do feel that it helps that others are in the same boat and they understand how it feels. You sound a lot more positive than I and I give you tons of credit for that. Like I said one of my biggest problems is follow through. I try and try but I never succeed. My 20 year old has ADHD and LD as well. I can see her going down my road and between that and my following through with work issues....It leads to severe depression. My hope is diminishing. I feel like a rat on a wheel. I don't mean to bring anyone down here, but I need to let it out. No one understands and many people think that it doesn't exist and it's just as excuse. I wish they could live in my brain for a day.
The added stress of not being able to pay bills every month or not having any money to buy my daughter a birthday gift or letting so much pile up because of depression makes it so much worse.
I'm so down now. I am not sure what to do, but it's hard to stay positive when I have failed so many times in the past, have a terrific daughter that doesn't trust what you say anymore about your new venture because she deep down knows its going no where.
Sorry for the downer post.
K

KD said:

Hi Jan,
Your reply was extremely helpful and we are so much alike. I do freelance copy writing for my boyfriends business. I love words and color. I actually put a color to a person's name when I first meet them and that way I never forget their name. I also love fashion and I only bargain shop...meaning I go into the most exclusive towns on Long Island and into their thrift or consign shops and with the price tags....say a Theory dress that is $300.00 I will get for $10.00 bucks. I found a tag watch brand new that goes for three grand and I bought it for $5.00. Some people just don't know what they have. My friends have told me to buy and then sell on ebay or something like it, but I need to do things in step and to be shown how to do them. The shopping, accessory part is easy. It's where do I start and could someone sit next to me to walk me through it. I love that I have the right brain talent in certain areas, but I hate that I cannot follow through. It has caused major depression for me. I appreciate what Mary Beth has said with regards to a coach, but it is not possible. I work 2 jobs, my bills are always late and sometimes I just cannot pay them.
But, hey Jen...If you are interested in having a phone buddy so that we each have the support from someone that gets it........Let me know. My email is Karenhurd1@gmail.com I could then leave you my number. Just a thought!!

Be well

KD

Jen Idema said:

KD,

You have described me to a T! Everything you wrote about unfortunate choices, the domino effect, knowing where you excel but not knowing where to start, problems with self-esteem and depression...all me! And the end of the rope feels very near for me as well.

I recently became a single mom too. I have 3 kids - 12, 9, and 6. My ex-husband is very supportive and very involved in our lives, and we're getting along better now than ever. However, his income cannot support 2 households, so I am also very broke. I've dabbled in freelance photography, glassware painting, and other creative outlets over the years, but it was never a financial necessity, so it wasn't crucial for me to establish a real business, complete with bookkeeping, marketing, and the like. In fact, those are the reasons I've never stuck with them even on a freelance basis.

But now, I HAVE to find other income, and a time-clock type of job just isn't for me. I excel in writing, proofreading, and editing, and would be ideally suited to working on other people's and companies' websites and blogs as an editor and occasional content contributor. What's holding me back, ironically, is writing a letter to market my writing and grammar skills! I'm so worried about making the best presentation of myself (classic ADHD perfectionism), that I avoid sitting down to just start writing.

My other road block is what Mary Beth mentioned: I am not good at running a business. Once I market myself and start getting hired, how am I going to keep track of it all -- billing, receiving, taxes, etc.? Like you, Karen, I need someone by my side. I do have a couple of friends who have stepped in as coaches, but their impact is more on my attitude and holding me accountable to making progress on my decluttering projects. They don't have the time to run a business with/for me.

I'm sure you're wishing that this reply had helpful information for you. I haven't given you any solutions. But I know for me, it helps to talk with others who are in the same boat, and remind ourselves that we are worthy of self-love. We have so many talents and strengths. It's just frustrating that it is those very gifts that get in the way of themselves sometimes.

Let's make a promise to keep believing in ourselves and our great ideas, and not to beat ourselves up over the past.

Here's to our success!

Jen

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Pauline on March 15, 2010 at 10:46am

I am a self- employment coach for mental health consumers. I got the job after going nuts starting my own business, which I managed to keep running for a year. At first I called that a failure but now I see it as a success. Not only did the experience lead to a new career but I DID manage to go from idea to actual business.

There are a lot of free organizations like ours ( not only who work in the mental heath field:). Find one. It makes all the difference to have someone else help you set and achieve your goals. Your instincts are good there. You've identified what you need to make this happen. A good coach should help you focus on your strengths, identify and overcome your barriers, and connect you with whatever resources you need. Look for one that offers some business basics workshops as well as well as one on one time. Some are even going the Skype route so use the internet to look for resources.
Good luck. You can do this.

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Permalink Reply by Meegan Peebles on March 18, 2010 at 11:33am

I feel for you!!! You are Covered in Greatness and You will find something that will work for you!!! Just know that you are great! No matter what! I have experienced this and continue to! I just wanted to offer some kind words of encouragement and Motivation. Thats what I am a Motivator of People. You can come check out my blog if you like that is the only thing so far that I have been following thru with because I am a writer, Been writing poetry for 26 years started when I was 6 so you do the math LOL!!!! Come check out my blog!!!


http://successisyourownname.blogspot.com/

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Permalink Reply by Meegan Peebles on March 18, 2010 at 11:37am

I totally Agree! I am so happy to have found a site that is encouraging to people who suffer with ADHD/Add!

Jen Idema said:

KD,

You have described me to a T! Everything you wrote about unfortunate choices, the domino effect, knowing where you excel but not knowing where to start, problems with self-esteem and depression...all me! And the end of the rope feels very near for me as well.

I recently became a single mom too. I have 3 kids - 12, 9, and 6. My ex-husband is very supportive and very involved in our lives, and we're getting along better now than ever. However, his income cannot support 2 households, so I am also very broke. I've dabbled in freelance photography, glassware painting, and other creative outlets over the years, but it was never a financial necessity, so it wasn't crucial for me to establish a real business, complete with bookkeeping, marketing, and the like. In fact, those are the reasons I've never stuck with them even on a freelance basis.

But now, I HAVE to find other income, and a time-clock type of job just isn't for me. I excel in writing, proofreading, and editing, and would be ideally suited to working on other people's and companies' websites and blogs as an editor and occasional content contributor. What's holding me back, ironically, is writing a letter to market my writing and grammar skills! I'm so worried about making the best presentation of myself (classic ADHD perfectionism), that I avoid sitting down to just start writing.

My other road block is what Mary Beth mentioned: I am not good at running a business. Once I market myself and start getting hired, how am I going to keep track of it all -- billing, receiving, taxes, etc.? Like you, Karen, I need someone by my side. I do have a couple of friends who have stepped in as coaches, but their impact is more on my attitude and holding me accountable to making progress on my decluttering projects. They don't have the time to run a business with/for me.

I'm sure you're wishing that this reply had helpful information for you. I haven't given you any solutions. But I know for me, it helps to talk with others who are in the same boat, and remind ourselves that we are worthy of self-love. We have so many talents and strengths. It's just frustrating that it is those very gifts that get in the way of themselves sometimes.

Let's make a promise to keep believing in ourselves and our great ideas, and not to beat ourselves up over the past.

Here's to our success!

Jen

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