Help! I just can't seem to get it together!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Marrianne Memmott on -
Hi Robin, I'm new to this site. Terry Matlen suggested I come here even though I'm still working on getting dx'ed. I find I use my planner to help me with memory. However, I know where your coming from on the making long lists and then feeling overwhelmed. There are many times I got into a room with piles and not sure what to do with all of it too. One thing I've been trying lately is to pick one thing to deal with and see what I can do with that, and to feel like I've accomplished something important. I did do this with one thing my husband was complaining about in our bedroom after I was feeling excited about getting it taken care of and he just looked at me like, well what about the rest. So I've decided to keep that excitment to myself. When you get a little something done, I would stand up and celebrate. Be excited pretend you have pompoms in your hand and cheer. Then another day go to the next thing you thing you can deal with for just now. I'm starting to think that it is much better to do a tiny bit at a time, then not to do anything at all. In time, even if it's slow, it will get done. There have been times that watching Clean House or the show about Hoarders actually helps me feel like doing something, even a small something. Then go out of your house and be proud. No one has to know...except you can obviously share here so we can cheer with you. Hugs.
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Permalink Reply by riikka suikka on
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Hi,I have the same problem as you do.I was diagnosed in 2008.I have ADD/ADHD.I live in Finland.I have also OCD and
bipolar.Ten years went by so fast.First 2000 I was depressed and 2001 I was diagnosed bipolar.Somewhere was OCD
lurking down the line.I was always in somekind of krisis.Usually it was first mania and after mania came depression and
after deprssion came AD/HD or OCD.I havent really beat this ADD because I was always obsessing about something
more important...:-(( I have started to use a notebook because I just dont remember a thing to do.I havent done laundry
and housework for a long time.Now I am so fed up with myself that I want to learn these things.I feel so ashamed and
angry because 10 years ago I was capable of doing these things.I found on the internet a site which is called FlyLady,
maybe you should check it out.Have a nice day:-)
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Permalink Reply by Brooke on
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Robin I know exactly where you are & how ur feeling.. I am so glad I happen to stumble on to this website. I feel so defective watching other moms have it all together & I don't, not in the least. It makes u feel like other moms. non-add moms, received some mannual or gene we didn't. I was diagnosed in 05 also & stuggle with depression/anxiety. I've read everybook & feel I've tried everything I am ALITTLE better with organizing, & I mean alittle. I get overwhelemed easly and then depression follows.
I agree with Marianne I also watch clean house & I absolutely makes me feel so so much better LOL.
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Permalink Reply by Heather on -
Hi Robin and to all,
I come to this site to help get out of my funk!!! I know some days are better than others... Wish i had a great and profound answer but, just remember it does get better. Some days i get so mad at myself because i don't do a thing I just procrastinate all day...then i can't sleep thinking of all the time i wasted!!! LOL "More time wasted" Yep more procrastinating!! But, I agree with Marrianne said you must reward every little task and it will eventually get done! Good luck and know if you need some cheers we are all here for you!!
Heather
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Permalink Reply by Curlymoe on
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Robin
Why don't you set a stopwatch when you are tackling the den. Set a realistic time to work, say 15 or 20 minutes get what you can done in this time and then reward yourself with something you like. I know you said you lost all your friends in the divorce, but this may be a temporary thing. If it isn't then you need to focus on becoming your own best friend.
Also you can't allow the mess in the den to keep you confined in the house. Get out, take a walk (if it is too cold for outside where you are, go to the mall or the local arena) and give yourself a 20 or 30 minute pick me up so that you feel ready to face it again.
A list is a great place to start, but if you just keep adding to it, soon you are overwhelmed. Do you have a place on the fridge where you can put a realistic daily list. Put 2 or 3 of the most important things on this list and as you get them done, cross them off. It won't solve everything but you will feel like you got something done. The best way to chase away the blues before they start consuming your life is to have successes.
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Permalink Reply by Janet on
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Have to agree with the timer. I bought timers for both of my children (we homeschool). We all have our to do lists each day. I post them on whiteboards and they check them off. We set our timers for no more than 15-20 minutes.. or we all get distracted, especially me.
As far as the all consuming overwhelmed feeling... I've spent the last year and a half trying to declutter my house, so we could bring a realtor in to tell us what minimally needs to be done to try to put it on the market. Try to remember to tell yourself... it didn't get this way in a day, it won't get better in a day.
I'm still overwhelmed. I seem to move things from room to room and pile to pile, before I can get rid of it... but slowly, I'm regaining more and more wall space that's not stacked up to my height with boxes of papers, stuff and projects.... My girlfriends that also homeschool have seen the progress I've made over the last year... they encourage me. I think the most important thing you need to do is establish a support system of others that understand and support you.
Get back to church, or join one! Get out there and make some friends, or do something for someone else... you are okay! It will get better... seasons of life and all... remember, you are a woman and women are strong!!
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Permalink Reply by terianne on -
Hi Robin, I'm in the middle of ADD Friendly Ways to Organize your life an I'm loving it! I highlight as I go so I can go back to the important stuff. I have found many good ideas/suggestions in it and have started using them:)
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Permalink Reply by Sherry Blankenship on
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I can totally relate. I have ADD and was dx'ed about 2 years ago. I got dx'ed the same time my daughter did. I have a junk room that could totally be on Horders. I go in there and have anxiety attack. I really want to get that room cleaned but have no idea how or where to start. I still have about 80% of all my kids clothes from birth up and my oldest is 10.
The timer thing don't work for me in that room. I cannot just do a little each day. I seem to have the mindset it must be done and must be done completely.
The rest of my house is not that bad. I have stuff hidden very well. I started teaching preschool so all my crafts stuff for that just adds to the mess.
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Permalink Reply by Angie Stoops on
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I'm just now finding out that I am probably ADD. I'm trying to get diagnosed but for some stupid reason can't seem to find anyone that BC/BS will approve her in Indy. FedEx says I have to go to Chicago. Why is this so hard? I want help but it's so discouraging. The stacks of mail that pile up, the dishes in the sink, the horrible bedroom mess, it's overwhelming and just too much for me to handle. I don't have kids, but I do have pets and the hair! Yes, I have the Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome which is horrible because I'm dating again after an 8 yr relationship that went bad. He didn't come over much either because of it which is probably a very big reason we broke up, not to mention the string of jobs on my resume. Did I read correctly that if I have a mental issue like ADD that the mortgage company cannot foreclose? Because of my job issue I'm in the middle of fighting a foreclosure even though the modification was approved by government. Long story but I can tell you that Bank of America is not a nice company to deal with.
Marrianne Memmott said:Hi Robin, I'm new to this site. Terry Matlen suggested I come here even though I'm still working on getting dx'ed. I find I use my planner to help me with memory. However, I know where your coming from on the making long lists and then feeling overwhelmed. There are many times I got into a room with piles and not sure what to do with all of it too. One thing I've been trying lately is to pick one thing to deal with and see what I can do with that, and to feel like I've accomplished something important. I did do this with one thing my husband was complaining about in our bedroom after I was feeling excited about getting it taken care of and he just looked at me like, well what about the rest. So I've decided to keep that excitment to myself. When you get a little something done, I would stand up and celebrate. Be excited pretend you have pompoms in your hand and cheer. Then another day go to the next thing you thing you can deal with for just now. I'm starting to think that it is much better to do a tiny bit at a time, then not to do anything at all. In time, even if it's slow, it will get done. There have been times that watching Clean House or the show about Hoarders actually helps me feel like doing something, even a small something. Then go out of your house and be proud. No one has to know...except you can obviously share here so we can cheer with you. Hugs.
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