For parents concerned about transition to college
The listserve at http://www.conquercollegewithld.com
offers a wealth of information for parents of high school students already anxious about postsecondary transition.
offers a wealth of information for parents of high school students already anxious about postsecondary transition.
Tags: college, post-secondary, postsecondary, success, transition
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rachel M on -
Thanks.
Interestingly enough, college was one of the few times in my life I haven't felt paralyzed by my ADD. I definitely feel like I had memory retention issues related to the ADD, but I was so scared I wouldn't do well that I kept myself together.
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Permalink Reply by Joan Azarva on -
Rachel,
It is so interesting how different people cope. I interviewed Jonathan Mooney with dyslexia and ADD; he went away to college on a soccer scholarship and did well. He operates best when his time is really structured, and playing soccer at a Division I school sure did that! My instincts would have told me that anyone with LD/ADD who attempted that would crash and burn - go figure!
Rachel M said:Thanks.
Interestingly enough, college was one of the few times in my life I haven't felt paralyzed by my ADD. I definitely feel like I had memory retention issues related to the ADD, but I was so scared I wouldn't do well that I kept myself together.
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Permalink Reply by Rachel M on
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I struggled so much in elementary school and high school with it. Somehow my mother scared me to death about keeping my grades up in college. I even ended up transferring to an Ivy League school after two years. I definitely couldn't keep up with the reading and at times seemed to be walking a fine line with success, but everyone was there. I graduated with a nice GPA I somehow managed. There literally was no time for anything but work there which may have helped. You could be doing work, eating or sleeping. There wasn't room for anything else.
My father was motivated by a mother (my grandmother) that used physical punishment if he didn't get perfect grades. Like many Jewish boys in the 50's and 60's he was expected to be a doctor and his mother made sure of it by scaring him into staying on track. As an adult (psychiatrist ironically) he needs to employ 3 secretaries for his private practice for a combination of filing with the insurance companies and for keeping up with his ADD. My mother has a limit of how much she will keep up with him so he hires help.
Do stay at home moms get personal assistants?
My mother always tried to reward me at the end of the marking period, but it just didn't work. When this article http://www.sciencefriday.com/program/archives/200909114 (a small summary of it) came out I totally could relate. Reward just never worked for me. I am finding the same thing for my 8 year old. He just told me once he doesn't earn the reward once in school he gives up for the rest of the time since he thinks he will never get it again.
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Permalink Reply by Joan Azarva on
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Rachel,
Your post struck a chord with me because my husband is a Jewish doctor in his 50's whose mother had high expectations of him!! The only difference is he doesn't have ADD. Do you know that Dr. Ed Hallowell does?
I love the link that you posted. I imagine that if someone were treated with meds, he'd have more dopamine and consequently a stronger reward system.
You are a fabulous success story, ending up at an Ivy League school. You're probably a very creative, out of the box thinker! And yes, if you have a profession where you make enough money, you can always hire a PA... :-) a lawyer friend of mine had someone do all her grocery shopping, clean out her closets, take her kids to activities, etc!
Rachel M said:I struggled so much in elementary school and high school with it. Somehow my mother scared me to death about keeping my grades up in college. I even ended up transferring to an Ivy League school after two years. I definitely couldn't keep up with the reading and at times seemed to be walking a fine line with success, but everyone was there. I graduated with a nice GPA I somehow managed. There literally was no time for anything but work there which may have helped. You could be doing work, eating or sleeping. There wasn't room for anything else.
My father was motivated by a mother (my grandmother) that used physical punishment if he didn't get perfect grades. Like many Jewish boys in the 50's and 60's he was expected to be a doctor and his mother made sure of it by scaring him into staying on track. As an adult (psychiatrist ironically) he needs to employ 3 secretaries for his private practice for a combination of filing with the insurance companies and for keeping up with his ADD. My mother has a limit of how much she will keep up with him so he hires help.
Do stay at home moms get personal assistants?
My mother always tried to reward me at the end of the marking period, but it just didn't work. When this article http://www.sciencefriday.com/program/archives/200909114
a> (a small summary of it) came out I totally could relate. Rew...
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Permalink Reply by Rachel M on
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Thanks Joan. I suppose I am creative. My pre-mommy career was elementary school teacher which was a good creative outlet. I definitely will never make enough to hire too much help. I do, however, currently rely on my weekly cleaning lady. She just tried to change our schedule to every other week. The main reason I love for her to come is that it motivates me to put away all of those things I have been walking past for a week. One day she only comes to do the bathrooms and kitchen. It still gets me to pick up the house.
Ironically my grandmother would not attend my father's medical school graduation because he didn't become a "real doctor." She didn't pay for a cent of his undergrad or med school, so I don't know how she thought she could choose his field. It was between psychiatry and being an OB. My mother didn't want to lead the life of the wife of an OB so he choose psychiatry. My dad is very talented in medicating people with severe mental illnesses. I think my grandmother forgot the whole "not a real doctor" thing with time.
There has never been any stigma on meds in our house. We head to a child psychiatrist to get my 8 year old officially diagnosed tomorrow morning!
Rachel
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Permalink Reply by Joan Azarva on
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Rachel, I can REALLY identify with the "cleaning lady" phenom. I have one every two weeks - that means it's clean-up time. I have never been very neat, so thankfully, it forces me to clean up.
Your father sounds like he does wonderful work, and it's great that your family is so open to meds. I recently interviewed Kathleen Nadeau and Pat Quinn on the dangers of NOT medicating, so I would have an effective comeback to parents who refuse to consider meds for their kids with ADD. Basically, to put it bluntly, these parents are ill-informed! Good luck to you!
Rachel M said:Thanks Joan. I suppose I am creative. My pre-mommy career was elementary school teacher which was a good creative outlet. I definitely will never make enough to hire too much help. I do, however, currently rely on my weekly cleaning lady. She just tried to change our schedule to every other week. The main reason I love for her to come is that it motivates me to put away all of those things I have been walking past for a week. One day she only comes to do the bathrooms and kitchen. It still gets me to pick up the house.
Ironically my grandmother would not attend my father's medical school graduation because he didn't become a "real doctor." She didn't pay for a cent of his undergrad or med school, so I don't know how she thought she could choose his field. It was between psychiatry and being an OB. My mother didn't want to lead the life of the wife of an OB so he choose psychiatry. My dad is very talented in medicating people with severe mental illnesses. I think my grandmother forgot the whole "not a real doctor" thing with time.
There has never been any stigma on meds in our house. We head to a child psychiatrist to get my 8 year old officially diagnosed tomorrow morning!
Rachel
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Permalink Reply by Rachel M on
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Tomorrow will be our son's first day at school on the meds. We will see if it works at all. The doctor we saw did make it clear of the bad things that happens when kids don't get medicated.
Do you know anything about the research about the meds stunting growth? I am not overly concerned, but am curious. I had assumed we would take him off of the meds for the summer. He is the most pleasant kid in the world and isn't bouncing off the walls. It isn't like we need any hyperactivity control. The doc we are seeing thinks meds in the summer is a must. Obviously he isn't there every day to give them to him. I agree with keeping him on it 7 days a week in the school year unless we have eating issues.
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