Any of you ADD Mom's married to an Aspie? I sure could use your wisdom. :)
I'm ADD, My husband has Asperger's and my 8 year old kid is ADHD/ PDD-NOS...well, we are still in the midst of the assessment process for the PDD but if you ask me it is fairly obvious. We were all diagnosed in the last 2 years. We started with my daughter and as we saw ourselves reflected in her we all ended up with diagnosis. Amazing that my husband and I had no idea previously, although we had both been treated for secondary stuff like depression, anxiety and OCD. Anyone else out there?? Maybe we could start a club that we forget to attend? One of the Aspies can write the rules. :)
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Carla J. on
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I had to laugh when I read the title to your post because it sounded so much like my marriage! My husband has not been diagnosed yet with ASPERGER'S, but I often wonder based on the one sided'ness' of our arguments/discussions. I don't have much wisdom to share, other than the fact that I try to limit our disagreements because they end up escalating into a non-productive argument. But I sure would love to share experiences,etc.
Thanks!
Carla
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btw...our 11 year old son has ADHD and we're still trying to figure out the Asp. bit..due to the social issues.
Carla J. said:I had to laugh when I read the title to your post because it sounded so much like my marriage! My husband has not been diagnosed yet with ASPERGER'S, but I often wonder based on the one sided'ness' of our arguments/discussions. I don't have much wisdom to share, other than the fact that I try to limit our disagreements because they end up escalating into a non-productive argument. But I sure would love to share experiences,etc.
Thanks!
Carla
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Permalink Reply by Pauline on
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Sounds great Carla! Chris and I were headed for divorce if we hadn't figured out his unique brain (just a little sarcasm there.) How are you going about your son's AS assessment? Do want to swap stories publicly? I am easy either way. I can certainly share a few of the things Chris and I have figured out communication- wise that seem to help. What doesn't help is my struggle to provide the two of them with the required structured, organized environment. Talk about pressure! So glad you responded!
Carla J. said:btw...our 11 year old son has ADHD and we're still trying to figure out the Asp. bit..due to the social issues.
Carla J. said:I had to laugh when I read the title to your post because it sounded so much like my marriage! My husband has not been diagnosed yet with ASPERGER'S, but I often wonder based on the one sided'ness' of our arguments/discussions. I don't have much wisdom to share, other than the fact that I try to limit our disagreements because they end up escalating into a non-productive argument. But I sure would love to share experiences,etc.
Thanks!
Carla
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Permalink Reply by Melissa on -
Hi pauline,
My bf's son was recently diagnosed as Asperger's (was previously ADHD which they may keep both labels), and after his mom saying he was always exactly like his son, I read up on it and believe my bf also has Asperger's. I have ADHD, my son has ADHD, and my bf and I both have depression (mine is perfectly medicated and doesn't really impact my life these days).
The biggest thing I notice is that I'm always trying to help people and can see the best in everyone (even if it maybe isn't there, lol) whereas he sees the worst in people (all people in a group are the same - everything is black/white theres no middle ground - ex - ALL girls in his hometown are sluts -even though he doesn't know them all, ALL girls want to date a jerk - and ALL girls will leave a good guy to be with that jerk- which does happen sometimes and I think more with younger girls -but not ALL).
He is happy to have no one around, he spends most of his time alone - which is why he won't move in because he can't stand having me and my son (or anyone) always around. He doesn't really care for people, if a friend really needed help that he couldn't give he can easily end a friendship rather than try to make it work (yes he'll even state that he doesn't really care for his friends or for anyone, even said it about his son at times - said it to me not his son).
A lot of the time I don't see that side of him, he'll usually fake it if he talking to someone else, he knows how other people think and he'll say what they want to hear (actually he's really good at that) - but it isn't what he's actually thinking/feeling on the inside.
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Permalink Reply by Jessica Ann Hobson -
Aspergers and ADHD people love to be together I have decided! An old neighbor of mine had ADHD (though I don't know if she could tell) and her husband was an Aspie, though he couldn't tell and she could! My other friend where I live, her mother is ADHD (undiagnosed) and her dad is Aspergers (undiagnosed), and her son and daughter are inclined to be Aspergers kids, we think. My friend that moved felt so alone and struggled to find other couples who had stayed married for as long as she had (30 years +) to someone who behaved more like a very large child most days, though he was brilliant when it came to Geo-Physics, which is how he pays their bills! I only share to let you know you aren't alone, and to keep searching for others out their that share these issues, because I know my friend felt so disheartened sometimes by the lack of resources for Aspergers adults! Good luck, I will be sure to pass on anything I find on the matter!
~Jessica Hobson
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