ADHD Mom With 6 Kids
I'm 30 years old and I have ADHD. I fit the desciption like crazy! I've known I've had it all my life. I'm extremely unorganized. I'm a great mom though. :D I homeschool my kids also so I have a 9,8,6,4,2 and 4 month old at home with me all day, every day. I love having them with me being that time is so short with them. Besides, I have no schools in my area so that helped with that decision. I would have to drive kind of far. Anyhow, I am writing because I hate how unorganized I am. I have FANTASTIC ideas but the follow through is not there. Only some. I'm easily distracted. I'm a VERY hard worker and I have an over abundance of energy. The problem is that even though I clean, I also leave messes wherever I go. Not just my kids. I don't see myself doing that. It doesn't help that I have 6 little ones that are extremely messy and a few are ADHD also. We have a chore system to help us all out but it only helps maybe 50%. I'm very forgetful and I tend to go in circles while trying to complete something. I've cried many tears as to why I can't have that perfect clean house like other moms. When I say I've cried, I mean I've cried a lot about it at night after kids are in bed. I'm not lazy but yet I've been called that by people who say "why can't you get it straight? It's so easy keeping a house together!." How can I be lazy if I work so hard from morning till night, sometimes till 1am you can see me folding laundry or something else? How is that lazy? It's hurt badly to hear that. I know it's untrue. Yet I've heard it all my life. My husband said I'm the hardest worker he's ever known even though the house can't seem to stay clean ever. I love my family and I wouldn't trade them for a clean house anyday. I would have 10 kids if I was able to keep a clean house perfectly. At least mostly. If anyone has any ideas on how to live a homemakers life, with kids home during the day, and make things work for them, please share! I'm desperate for any ideas. I'm talking to ADHD moms. LOL. Please, please share. I do understand that having this energy is wonderful for me being I have a larger family. I get comments all the time about how much energy I have must help. It's true. :) I do take that part as a blessing.
Tags: ADHD, clean, family, home, homemaker, homeschool, housewife, kids, lazy, messy, More…
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Permalink Reply by Mom to Six on -
Thanks for the encouragement! ;) Sometimes people see my blog and they think I keep the house perfect. (http://amazingsix.blogspot.com if you'd like to visit.) It's not that, I just work super duper hard and I completely rely on a chore system between all of us. Of course I won't take a picture of the living room if we just had 10 kids over and it's a wreck (like the other day). Or it's the weekend and we are in and out so much that the house falls apart and is a big mess. I know I can't do it myself because kids are so, so, so messy. Yes, each kid adds to the mess. I'm sure a mess for 2 kids vs. 20 kids makes a big difference. Hee hee.... but I do remember how even when I had two kids it was hard because that's what I was used to. I am used to dressing up the kids because we go to church 3-4 times a week so it's a lot of fun for me. :) My blog shows my kids dressed up for Easter! I have loved all of your replies immensely! Thanks so much.
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Permalink Reply by Mommy of 4 on
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OMG ADHD Mom with six kids. I felt like I was reading my life! I am just coming to realize that I have ADHD, Bad and always have, after speaking with a phycologist. I too homeschool but I only have 3 kids and one on the way. The only things that have helped me is to keep the TV off as much as possible and stay away from the computer, especially facebook games like Farmville. lol. And oh how I love summer. The house stays cleaner because the kids spend more time outside. I wish I had a magic wand so I could help you. I so understand what you are feeling everyday. God bless you. Dena
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Permalink Reply by Rachel on -
Hi amazing mom of six - I'm new to this forum and am so thankful I found all of you! I totally share your anxiety about the condition of my home! I want to provide my hubby with an oasis to come home to and yet there is always visual chaos everywhere because of all my "creative projects" in various stages of non-completion and because of all the creative and messy activities I do with the kids (we just took a roll of aluminum foil and crumpled asteroids and meteors and had a space storm!)....and I have been so neglectful of teaching my kids how to pick up after one activity before moving on to the next because that is my huge failing - my brain does not work that way and it's so hard to consistently enforce it for my kids when it is downright painful for ME to do it! :)
AnyHOO, just know that I can relate and here are my tips and my pep talk...my husband does say that he comes home to an oasis of fun, joy, and beautiful memories being made and that he wishes I had been his mom when he was little because he thinks I give our kids a dream life :) And I can tell by your posts and blog that your heart has the same priority - so when you get down about the physical condition of your home (clutter, mess, unorganized, not perfect, etc) please pray that God will help you focus on the many blessings your servant's heart is adding to the spiritual and everlasting emotional condition of your family and home :)
That was the pep talk...and now for my tips since I know firsthand that we still can't help but go NUTS that we can't do it all and that we crave the satisfaction of an organized and clean home. You sound like you are in the huge RUT that I was in when I finally figured out that my lifetime battles are ADHD (I am the posterchild based on the description!). I think we manage it well, and then we get these little blessings in our lives that are a FULL TIME DISTRACTION strictly speaking from an ADHD brain perspective. No wonder we capable women finally hit a wall with motherhood...the juggle is just too much for our brain! Soooo...I received some great advice when I first hit my rut and it started causing depression and anxiety, I sought professional help and the therapist pointed out that those of us with adult ADHD are very fortunate when it comes to the meds because you can take the short-activation forms at first and see for a week how you feel and if they help. The short-acting form of Ritalin for example is only active for 4 hours or so and then it's out of your system. So please do not beat yourself up if you need to try medicine just to see if it helps you get about baseline. We are so lucky that our condition does not require drugs that you have to "ramp up" on and "wean off" of and therefore have to deal with negative side effects for a long duration. If you don't like the way you feel on a short-acting ADHD drug, you can just not take another pill and you are done - you tried it! I did this and had great success. I only used them for a couple of months, it helped pull me out of my down spirits because they did help me focus and get more organized and I personally did not have negative side effects. Now, I have the bottle and I only use them on short-term basis when things get overwhelming again.
For non-med tips...this one is not always possible because of finances, but I have sacraficed in other areas to help make this happen: get help! I have a couple of wonderful Christian teenagers from our church that I pay a fair hourly rate - not to babysit - but to just come be my mommy's helper when I'm here. They help crank out a few loads of laundry when it gets too backed up, they help with some of my business chores, I don't ask them to do major cleaning - just picking up the playroom, engaging my kids to help clean their rooms, etc. They unload my dishwasher. It is a GODSEND to have this a couple times a month or as needed. I praise my helpers and assure them I will always be a great referral for them in their future "real job" search.
Looking around my house right now...what am I doing giving advice - I'm at max capacity once again! But I could so relate and just wanted to encourage you. We are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and God gave us the exact brain we need for HIs purposes in our lives - including the energy and creativity needed to be great moms! Our housework does not have eternal value :)
Final recommendations, you probably already have read her books....Elizabeth George: Life Management for Busy Women and Beautiful in God's Eyes.
You are already so far ahead of many of us - getting your morning God-time in (my desperate need and biggest challenge since I am NOT a morning person, I'm a night owl). And pray about your homeschooling - I would LOVE to do it, it is so what my heart wants for my kids, but I resolved with great peace from prayer that my kids (boy shows ADHD) will benefit from the structure and routine and consistency at our local school and then they can come home to their crazy mommy for all the free-spirited fun educational opportunities life offers :)
You rock, thanks for your post!
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